Tales from the cemetery in May, TX

Well, wanted to share a fun, but yet stressful experience with my kiddos this weekend. My wife works in adoption... she goes and sees families that are wanting to adopt and does the social work study on the families. One of her duties is to see the families once a year to make sure there are no issues, etc...

Well, the family goes with her on these trips. Sometimes they are across town and others are as far as Houston, Waco, Brownwood, TX. If she drives, we usually go with her, as the kids love the road trip (and DVDs in the car), not to mention eating fast food and BLIZZARDS on the way home! Most of the time we find a really cool place to go (i.e.-Fiesta Texas, Houston Aquarium) and make a day of it. It may sound like a beating, but we all seem to like it (except the twins, who don't like not walking around all the time).

So... here is our normal plan. Patty goes to the family's house, while the 5 rugrats and I go and find something fun to do. She is usually gone for an hour, so we go to the park, McDonalds, Wal-mart - even once to a cool little town fair. It is all good. Well, don't know if you readers have ever been to May, Texas, but there isn't crap from Highway 20 and Brownwood. As we drove down our fourth dirt road, it became clear that there would be no joy in the Brown Suburban today, for there is nothing but freaking farms, hay bales, and cows for miles and miles. We dropped off the Mrs., and went on a trek to find something for 5 kids (ages 7-15 mos) to do.

I decided to go west on FM 2273 only to find a little community about 3 miles west. I believe the community was Lakeside Estates or something like that. Nice name, if there were a freaking lake anywhere in the freaking vicinity. I found out where the derilecs in Deliverance live when they aren't taking Ned Beaty to town. Shantyville, I mean NO Lakeside Estates had two parts... double wide, and make shift double wide. We drove by a community playground that had a bunch of rusty, metal playground equipment on it. There was even a teenager in a wife beater making out with some tweener on the merry-go-round. My kids were begging for me to stop and play and got upset when I said no... "why not?"

"Cuz, we aren't all up to date on our tetnus honey"
"What's that?"
"Hey look guys, more four wheelers!"

So, once I hightailed it out of One Tooth Hill, we went back east on FM 2273. Again nothing....

But alas, there was something ahead. It was the great cemetery of May, Texas. I did what any good father did and let the kids walk around the cemetery looking at tombstones. All was fine, until I smelled that one of the twins had pooped. Went to the Suburban to change her when my oldest three tell me they have to pee and right now. Luckily, I am married to a very organized woman. She had a portable potty (for #3 and her potty training) in the back. So, we open up the back and what once held strollers, dry cleaning, and lawn chairs, is now a bathroom. #5 goes, #4 goes, and #3 goes, while I am changing the stinky baby. I decide to be a good parent and change the other twin, when #3 comes back to the truck to let me know she has pooped on a grave. Thank the Lord, she only meant that she pooped while looking at a grave. She did however crap her pants..... something organized mommy was not ready for.... nor was unorganized daddy. SO, #3 has on one the twin's diapers and I am trying to clean a potty for the third time while trying to find somewhere for poopy Dora panties to go. My wife then decides it is a good time to call me and let me know she is done and needs me to come get her...NOW! All seemed lost until Bubba and his fourwheeler showed up and asked, "Is y'all lost?" (cue Banjo music)

Needless to say, we made it to my wife and we made it home. Thought the day was going to be ok until I got home. All the kids were asleep and as I picked up #1 (who is a hefty seven year old), she whispers in my ear, "cemeteries aren't very fun, daddy".

Yeah KB, but they make for a good story for your old man to remember.

Forget it Friday

Well.... here we go...

1) Forget doing this list EVERY Friday. I missed a week and now I am behind. Just another thing to start whipping me into complete dispair.

2) Forget underhanded sub-contracting recruiters that pull their good people at the last minute and try to replace them with crap. If I wanted crap I would subcontract through my twins - they give me crap all the time. And sometimes more than what I ask for.

3) Forget cleaning... I mean seriously... I had the fortune of staying home yesterday and just picked up my house. I mowed, I baked a freaking cake, I not only washed clothes, but I folded them and put them up (ok 95% of them). I wake up this morning and see that a tornado has hit my home... just crap everywhere.... are you freaking kidding me?

4) Forget depression.... I think I have been battling a bad case of it for the last two weeks. It just wears me down. I am too tired to do anything but breathe and my sweet girls just want to play with their dad. Some of you would probably say, you should just do that Ten Things Tuesday to put your mind in perspective.... to that I say.... um, no.

5)Forget finishing this 5. I lost steam thanks to that phone call, Michelle. Now I am not only behind a week, but also a number. Man... what a beat down.

Seriously.... I would like to also take this time to ask anyone that reads this to say a quick prayer for a good friend and co-worker of mine, Denise. Two weeks ago, Denise found out she has a tumor in her breast that covers over 3/4 of the breast. She immediately went into chemo and has having all kinds of work done to get rid of it. She has been so incredibly strong and in good spirits. While I haven't had the closest of relationships, this situation has made us stronger friends and I really don't want this thing to get her. The world is not ready to be without her. SO... could you guys, gals, kids, and alpacas please pray for her. She is a good and decent person and she is being so super strong right now. Thanks!

Also... having felt like my privates were the soccer ball in a World Cup tourney, I took the advice of a friend and read the book of Job again. I charge any of you to read it... especially when you are down. It really puts perspectives on things. Have a great weekend.

Forget it Five Friday...

Buddy of mine (JSkelty) has decided to join a cool group called Ten Thing Tuesday. I like the idea - post ten things you are thankful for. Well, being the butt that I am, I figured there is a way my style of writing can partake.

I give you..... Forget it Five Friday. I will list 5 things that I could really do without. While I am very thankful, I think this new look at it will help me steer clear of the things that steal my top ten thankful things.

1. Forget quotas.... my whole life is filled with them. Can't stand em, don't care about em. Just know I will do what I can do.... that is it.

2. Forget car repair people (besides Scott, who fixed my brakes yesterday).... those of us that are practically clueless are just a bunch of victims to your scare tactics and car part jargon. So what, I don't know what a caliper is and why it is important that it doesn't stick. I don't care.

3. Forget potty training.... even when I think #3 has it down, she wakes me up with urine EVERYWHERE! How can something that small have so much urine... really!?!?!?

4. Forget storms with excessive hail, wind, and flooding.... I think I am part dog cuz whenever the wind starts howling in the early morning, it is me and the Jack Russell just sitting there shaking in the corner, pissing on ourselves and looking for shelter. Wait, maybe #3 heard the storm too?

5. Forget joy stealers... I know that I am one of those too at times (maybe even to the good people that did top ten tuesday), but for the love of Pete, can I just enjoy a minute of victory? How about finding out that we overpaid the hospital on a bill only to find out that something the doctor did is not covered and will take double the overpayment to pay it off.... freaking joy stealer.

Man, it is good to get it off my chest